Real Life Vulnerability

When you commit to blogging, you commit to vulnerability. In reading about vulnerability from Brené Brown, I have realized that there is a large segment of Western civilization who says they want vulnerability, but on their terms and not at the point of empathizing with the party who has chosen to be vulnerable. 

I honestly thought I had done a blog post already, but it was only a Facebook post. I'm actually sad I didn't blog five days ago because (warning: being vulnerable) I really don't want to blog right now. Five days ago, my experiences were very different. Yesterday, my experience was very different. My husband said, "Keep it positive." I replied, "Then you might want to start typing."

Being Vulnerable

If you follow me on Facebook, you saw that I took my ten year old daughter on a date. We really didn't go far. We took the elevator up to the 30th floor to the Executive Lounge and enjoyed happy hour together. Yes, we really did! She had fresh squeezed apple juice and we both had sushi, fruit, cheese and some yummy desserts. We ate delicately and quietly and did not draw attention to ourselves. 

Tonight, after a late lunch, I took both girls up for some fruit at the Executive Lounge. Tonight, culture smacked me in the face. Tonight, we were shamed for being there with Grace, who's cleft lip and palate is not repaired, yet. Tonight, I lost my appetite for anything they were serving when we were asked to leave. Tonight, I refused to leave until both of my daughter's had some fruit. Tonight, left my stomach in my throat for how different I was treated despite the fact that both my daughter's were born with a cleft lip and palate. The judgment and cultural stigmatism by a society and social hierarchy stung hard tonight. While one daughter was unaware of what was happening behind her, my English speaking daughter was fully aware of what was going on and realized her surgeries had made all the difference in how the culture was responding to her. 

It was all so unfair and unkind and not right.

We are a family of six and united we stand...hand-in-hand.

Maybe tomorrow I can blog with a happy voice, but tonight I want you to understand how children who are born with clefts are treated all around the world. This is not unique to China. Every three minutes a child is born with a cleft. $250 can truly make a world of difference to their entire life through Operation Smile, SmileTrain or Love Without Boundaries. 

Glimmers of Hope

The Beginning of Many Birthday Celebrations

Back in Wuhan, our 13 year old had his first birthday celebration with FAMILY upon turning 14! We allowed him to choose where he wanted to go for lunch and he chose McDonald's!!! Yes, it was our first time as a family EVER eating at a McDonald's! (Needless to say, we all had stomach aches afterwards.) We let him choose his cake and some running shoes for himself. He has good taste! The cake was DELICIOUS! Maybe it helped that the French have a strong presence in Wuhan and we just happened to buy the cake at a French bakery!  The first photos below are of his birthday celebration. He preciously insisted on using the paper plates and plastic forks the bakery gave us despite the fact that the hotel gave us extra plates and forks to use. Those were HIS special party supplies! So we all used paper plates and sang Happy Birthday to our son! Joy was evident upon his face. A glimmer of hope.

Saying Goodbye

Our last day in Wuhan, we visited William's former orphanage. These visits are so hard, but can also be very healing in the end. I had to explain this to our guide. William was fine going to say goodbye to his friends and showing us where he had spent so much time making memories. The night before, we went to the store for him to choose gifts for his friends. The visit was beyond special, so heartbreaking and so healing. For us, it meant we were able to photograph his friends for his room and his file for our records. The information we found out about his early years was priceless! A glimmer of hope.

On to Guangzhou 

On November 11, we took the bullet train down to Guangzhou and are all settled in for the next two weeks. The hotel is gorgeous and spacious, but we are all getting the desire for home and our own beds. (But we need Grace first!)

While Jonathan was playing doctor on me and giving me a cast, I discovered the roll-away beds are far softer than the standard bed (i.e., hard as a rock!).  One of my kids just may wake up in my bed tomorrow. 

Four of us are down with the plague now. (Okay, I know it is not literally the plague, but I have felt like death for over a week now). I started it while visiting Nanchang (Jonathan's province), Jonathan started a day or two after me, William came with it and now Kimmer has the fever and cough. I went ahead and started a Z-pack since I have had it the longest aside from William. A glimmer of hope.

When you adopt an older child who doesn't speak your language, there's a huge learning curve for everyone. We have learned quickly, though, that William has something in common with most teenage boys---he does NOT like shopping! He also prefers to play video games. Today, I asked him how long he has had the cough. Obviously, something was lost in translation. I reworded it on the electronic translator and he replied, "Don't know." It could be the sad reality of living in a cold orphanage. It could be the reality of how shocking all of this is to him that a cough or fever seems so insignificant. His world is simply spinning around him. So, I will wait another five days and if he is not better, I will need to find some antibiotics for him, as well. After some serious prodding, I mean, insistence, we got him to play a matching game with us. He actually laughed and had fun. And when we finished, he dashed back to his bed to read more Harry Potter. A glimmer of hope.

Thanksgiving Travel

We found out last night we could actually fly out earlier than we planned. Flying back home Thanksgiving weekend can be a little tricky. Would you join us in praying that we are able to get a flight out on Wednesday or Thursday (Turkey Day)? We are currently flying in on Saturday, November 27. The trickiest part will be getting from Seattle to Spokane. If we aren't able to get a flight to Spokane, maybe we can convince Kimmer's dad or my brother to come get us in Seattle! (Hint! hint!) At this point, I am fine with renting a rig to get us home earlier. 

Two More Days Until We Are Six

Like every city in China, Guangzhou has expanded with even more new bridges, skyscrapers and entire new sections. The US embassy and adoption medical has moved to a new section east of town. I am sad we no longer get to visit the nostalgic, quiet, European-influenced Shamian Island where literally tens of thousands of adoptions have taken place. It will be interesting to see all the new growth of Guangzhou, though. I wonder if there are potted plants outside the new US embassy. 

And on Monday, we receive Grace! Kathleen sweetly said, "Only two more days of being the middle child! That didn't last long!" 

The next post will be Monday or Tuesday!

(Sorry the photos are not in between the text as I would prefer. Posting from email is messing up the formatting when I try that.)

On a side note, the freaky clowns have made it to China.